Sometimes your closet has to come crashing down, literally. That’s how my morning started a couple of months ago. At 5 a.m., the loud noise jolted me awake out of my much-needed sleep. But it got me thinking. Well, at first it made me upset, annoyed at being woken up and at having to deal with the mess. It was unsettling, for me, my clothing, and the dust on the top shelf that filled the air. I gathered a few items and then moved an air purifier to the closet to filter the dust. That was one thing checked off the list. The clothing would have to wait. I, on the other hand, was feeling extremely unsettled.
With no electronic filter system to clear my head, I picked a card from the tarot deck—the Tower. Its scary picture of people jumping out of a burning tower struck by lightning was at first a bit disconcerting. But as soon as I began to read some of the interpretations, I knew this card held truth for me.
I related to the metaphorical crumbling of the structures in my life, making way for new ideas, new people, and a new career path or calling. Given the closet debacle, I could also see the physical crumbling of structures.
I knew that I needed to explore what was going on at a deeper level. The clothing could wait, but I needed some understanding, which I got from my two favorite tarot books (Tarot Dictionary and Compendium by Jana Riley and The Spiritual Study of the Tarot by Louise Fimlaid).
I related to the crumbling tower now with a depth of understanding and a more visceral appreciation and connection to its meaning. I could see the breaking down of existing forms to make room for new life and new ways. This included the psychological upheaval caused by my mother’s departure from this planet and the sorrow and physical mess it left me to deal with. I could also clearly see the ongoing release of mental control that currently permeates my daily life with greater and greater awareness as my True Self takes more control from my ego. Hello Self, goodbye (or at least move to the back of the line) ego!
I knew the Tower wasn’t just a momentary “theme for the day.” It had been going on for a while, and it is still ongoing. When you’re ready to really look at something in an honest way, it shows itself to you. You can choose whether to hold your gaze, but when the closet comes crashing down, it’s a good time to take a deeper look. It’s only a closet. Why wait for a bigger sign? You see, I was again sidetracked by a work project. Yes, the one that brings me less joy but needed to come to completion.
In the space the work project created between me and my self-expression, self-doubt and questioning lurked. They didn’t thrive, but at the time I needed reminders that they have no place there. That space could be used for something more useful, productive and nurturing to my soul. So if the closet has to crash to wake you up, be thankful. Heed its call for awareness and move forward with the knowledge of being in right action.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Do my current mental and physical structures work for me?
- Am I leading an authentic life, one that resonates with my true self?
- Have I had a wake-up call for change, on a large or small scale?
- Do I listen to the messages and prompts life gives me?
When you answer these questions, do so without judgement. If you are listening to your true self, kudos to you! If you aren’t listening at all or there are certain areas in your life that need your attention, make a new choice to open yourself to honestly looking at your beliefs, motivations and actions.
An explanation of The Tower from Fimlaid’s kabalistic, numerological and astrological perspective sums it up beautifully. When the belief-based structures we build no longer suit us, make us too rigid or keep us on the wrong path. When we continue to see life through the limited vision of our past. We must heed the lightning strike (actual or metaphorical) and allow the transitory tower built on material substance to crumble. It is only then that we can use knowledge gained and new awareness to rebuild a foundation of enduring substance that can fully accommodate our personal evolution and ascension.
In other words, if the stories you hold onto keep you small, hold you back or limit your options for fulfillment, it may be time for a remodel or even a total teardown. A foundation based on limiting beliefs rather than the truth of our infinite, eternal natures is not a solid base. It is fragile and susceptible to erosion from external factors (for example, what other people think or do).
As I sit here writing, I know that expressing my truth isn’t an aside in my life, it is my life. I am happy to make way for new structures, both mental and physical, which support this path.
Sarah A. Sporn – The Evolving Intuitive